This is not to criticize you. Even though your behavior looks hypocritical and has the potential to make gay people look untrustworthy.
Please, have a talk with God about your sexuality. Tell him you are going to love yourself, ALL of yourself, including your so-called sin. Tell him that you just can't live this way anymore. When you embrace your "sin", it is then that God's love will fill you with incredible acceptance and flowing with love.
You will be set free.